Claude looked at the judge askance from his seat to the right of the stage, and he couldn’t believe what just took place. It was the lowest score any judge had ever given him, and he was sure that this wasn’t just any judge. He was a middle-aged white man from what he could tell, a bit too fat and a bit too drunk, taking part in something that was meant for the younger generation. He obviously didn’t have a life, obviously had something against him, what exactly he couldn’t imagine. Shouldn’t he have been at home with his wife and two-point-three kids, parking his car in the garage of his suburban home, watching old reruns on the television before he drank a glass of milk and stumbled up to bed? What right did this guy have coming into one of his poetry slams and giving him a score that ended hiswinning streak? What balls too, because Claude felt like bitch-slapping him, and most likely the angry, protesting audience would have followed suit in the collective mugging of this judge. ****HANDKERCHIEF:Cold Storage.****INFLATION:Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.MOSQUITO:An insect that makes you like flies better.****RAISIN:A grape with a sunburn.****SECRET:Something you tell to one person at a time.****SKELETON:A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.****TOOTHACHE:****The pain that drives you to extraction.****TOMORROW:One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.****YAWN:An honest opinion openly expressed.****And MY Personal Favorite!WRINKLES:Something other people have, ****Similar to my character lines."Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." – Warren BuffettThat's my way of thinking!!!WisdomTom was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get -Parkinson's or Alzheimer's?"The wise one answered, "Definitely Parkinson's.Better to spill half an ounce of your beer,than to forget where you put the damn thing!!This one is compliments of chuck...Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I'm sleeping with.
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